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Our friends with a woman, a person who's overcome many challenges, her resilience is commendable. However, she has been often caught off guard by people. Her husband left her, which came as a huge shock. Many of close acquaintances disappeared at that point, because they seemed drawn to the spouse. It shocked her. She put in greater energy to be my friend, likely realised more acutely the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Throughout this period, many in her circle have disappeared leaving her knowing the cause. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, although she was an excellent employee, her exit happened unaware of the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Recently, we have each retired leading to more frequent meetups, but I am finding my position in our friendship is as the audience. I introduce topics of conversation only for her to redirect the talk toward her own topics. Regarding political views, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend double-checking information and different perspectives.

She has been organizing a vacation abroad I've visited repeatedly and resided in for some time. I tried to provide personal experiences, however, my input unappreciated. She purely only wanted my agreement with her plans. I recently come back from a month in that place she hopes to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to be a friend who abandons suddenly without a word, but I don't think she will ever grasp the impact of how she acts on my self-esteem. Right now, I am in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

It's possible to cut and run, however, that approach is not often the peaceful resolution we imagine. But confrontation aiming for resolution demands strength and readiness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially is to state what typically happens in your conversations. It should be as factual as possible like what a recording device would replay. Next involves sharing how this leaves you feeling. There should be no disagreement here. Your feelings belong to you, after all. Step three is to question how the two of you going to change the interaction in your relationship."

Consider your friend has a point of view, thus requiring you to be prepared to hear that. One effective method is telling her:

"Now you talk while I will listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

It's wildly impactful in fostering better communication.

Closing Considerations

This person might reject all you say, for those who have a self-protecting mindset: they maintain a narrative regarding their experiences they won't let go of because their very survival relies on it and it represents they trust. This is difficult because there's no thoroughfare here, just dead ends. But she may start out this way then consider on your words. If you don't achieve a resolution, it provides closure knowing you were open and direct.